Nights

From vivid stories of their newest crush
to broken hearts from breaking up
Sit down and fill your empty cup
I’ll tell you how
My life is painted by their brush

In lonely nights it comes to mind
what others do in private nights

In sapphic love or craving men
reality leaves me behind
I feel a lot just never when
romantic partners come to mind

In lonely nights my friends decide
to text about their loveful lifes

Feel happiness and wishful lust
for my friends‘ life and all their joy
I‘m truly honoredby their trust
but when they text,my hope’s destroyed

Their stories full of mirrors which
reflect my failures back to me
Unnoticed by its writer they
confirm my insufficiency

In lonely nights it comes to mind
the way I want a different life

A constant stream of jealousy
Embodied dreams sit next to me
They live my female fantasy
I crave their natural purity

Pathetic tries of womanhood
pursued by lonely nights in tears.
Obsessed with how my body looks
an unnamed pain for many years

But nights unharmed by violent thoughts
leave room and sense for honest love

Their caring voices ringing out
They’re by my side when I’m in doubt
Acceptingme for who I am
And always there to hold my hand

My safety rope on mountain sides
A runner’s distant finish line
Without them I‘d be all alone
and lost in prisons of my own

And nights engaged in fighting fear
allow myself to see things clear

My failure to adhere to norms
which others set to hold their seat
is actually that what informs
my never-ending wishful grief

The path I take is treacherous
and claims a brutal sacrifice
But in the end with every step
I’m closer to a worthwhile life